The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most useful reference likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste view website your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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